Enchanted breeze in the tall trees.
After church tonight I went out on the deck for a while to listen to the wind sing through the huge conifers in our back yard. It even looked like it was snowing for a while but that was just the needles falling off the larch as the wind plucked them off in great big swaths. I could have watched longer with the help of the landscape lighting if it wouldn’t have been for the distracting little masked bandits who were rearranging some of the lights a little further back in the property. They must have been looking for a job, because one of the little buggers managed to remove one of the bulbs from the lights. Must have been warming their little thieving paws in the light!
I was thinking to myself that if road rage is a thing, why isn’t life rage? You know, when someone in front of you is doing life so slow that it kills you to have to deal with the pace. Except that I’m the guy in the “life” in front of everyone else and I’m getting in the way. For those on my friends list that are from Carbon, and reading this post, it would be like having to drive behind Ted Schmidt, tempted to pull out and pass, except that he had a habit of calling the cops on people who didn’t obey all the rules.
It’s not that I mind the slow pace and being able to take in as much as I can around me, “smelling the flowers” and listening to the wind blow kind of stuff. It’s more the fact that I have a new speed limit that doesn’t allow me to really speed up if I need or choose. Recovery comes, and everyone seems so encouraged to see me back up and running. Still, the adjustment to new feelings and aches and sometimes pains. There are times it takes all of me to focus on just keeping going with all the stuff that could pull me down. I’ve sharpened the ability to hide as much as possible and let others see only the good stuff. I try to keep the stuff that drags on me hidden away. Most wouldn’t want to be confronted with it anyway. It would make them feel uncomfortable and shy away from socializing.
Balance will come back again. Hopefully not too many young punks will pull out and pass me because I’m too slow. Hehe. I have some feelings stirring as to what the future might hold, but I’m still waiting for that wind to blow on my feeble little sail that I set up as my engine quit. I know its wrong, but I still long for some amazing affirmation of where next like someone having a dream or a vision of what I should do, and it lines up with what my dreams are as of late. But alas, I don’t know that wind has that much certainty in its direction.
I will keep on showing up every day for what the day holds, and be pleased that I have a day to enjoy. The thought of what I could have lost is never far from my mind. I’m glad that life goes around me. It gives me extra incentive to get up to speed.
Well, let’s see what the week brings. And lets look for the good in life, as well as looking for the good we can do.